Chapter: relapse

 DIARY OF AN EX DRUG ADDICT 😷🔫

When will this all end? Will it even end? 

I have been quiet, feeling guilty and ashamed but why? I need help. I need you!! I'll never be set free unless I'm honest . It's time I stop believing my own lies ... I am about 4 months clean of injecting heroine in my veins .. to be honest withdrawals is like being like a zombie- dead but I have found a way to not feel the withdrawals of heroine at all , by injecting crystal meth it takes away all withdrawals and "turkey" and gives you extreme energy .. so that's what I did to get off the heroine by the way the most hardest battle I have ever had to fight , and I've fought many demons !!  After a month I recognized I was a month clean of heroine and I have never been this long clean off heroine before so I considered myself a sober person. In the mean time I was dik-getik vanging trippies on Facebook.

Posting my testimonies at 3am in the morning like really Judo? can I be more blok-benote 😷🔫

I became so extremely dependant on the tik I made myself believe it was okay as long as it was not heroine then I was fine After a while I became aggressive when I didn't have it, I started hustling in ways that I have never hussled before and according to my mom I am  " completely out of hand" poor woman is a stress machine, shout-out to my queen for never giving up on me though shes really strong 💗💗 

Okay I've down it down to once a week or only on weekends but who am I kidding ? Many ways in, only ONE WAY OUT. #Jesus is e Truth the life and the WAY 🙏💓

I am finally admitting to myself that I still have a problem with addiction.. it got so bad im injecting 4- 5 packets a day and I feel fokol!! Either the work is kak? Or my body just got use to the poison and does not react anymore ... enough is enough you crazy poes !! I tell myself in the mirror.. enough is enough. Not everybody gets a second chance Judo com on you know this !! You preach this !!! So now practice this girl . 😐😥